tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62560942024-03-07T01:07:16.769-08:00I, the authorRandom musings of a random authorRay Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.comBlogger592125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-56254243919575173682017-04-11T18:05:00.001-07:002017-04-11T18:05:28.482-07:00Conversation to "God"...God, higher power, supernatural forces, something bigger than you and I, a population of alien super beings, whatever and however you want to define it. Even if you're an atheist, deep down you must know there is something out there that is beyond your own understanding. We humans can't be so conceited to believe that we're it, the top of the cosmic food chain, the only intelligent life form in the entire universe(s).<br />
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It doesn't matter. That is not my point. My point has something to do with my own experiences, and they are mine and mine alone. And I just had a ridiculously profound conversation with "god," and an amazing thing happened afterward. The revelations began a few years ago, most rapidly in 2013 when emotionally I felt as if I had hit bottom, even though on the surface I was doing great. Internally, I was a mess, adrift, unfocused and had no idea what I was doing in my life and how I was going to navigate.<br />
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It has taken me almost 4 years - a slow enough process but not too "slow" in the grand scheme of things -- to process what had happened and how I would navigate through what I had learned. The learning continues, but the trickling revelations, and the constant messaging continued to unravel me, teach me, and push me to my limits. For that I am grateful. The lessons continue, and the learning will be a lifelong process.Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-59284692809439238152014-06-06T09:50:00.001-07:002014-06-06T09:51:19.841-07:00I'm too (fill in the blank) to be (fill in the blank)Meryl Streep once said, "I believed I was too ugly to be an actress."<br />
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Thank goodness that hadn't stopped her from doing what she really loved (and is pretty good at, too).<br />
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It's amazing how often we judge ourselves, or let others judge us, and then internalize all these judgments that sooner or later would become our truths. That we're somehow limited. More often than not, though, these are not true limits, but the limits we set for ourselves, probably starting from a very young age when all the people who looked up to (parents, relatives, siblings, friends, teachers, so on and so forth) started to tell us what we were and what we should be.<br />
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I can't tell you how many times I have, half-jokingly, said I would never become an astronaut. There is some "truth" in it, based on my own judgment of myself: I have vertigo, I can't even run a 2K race without puking, blah blah blah. LIMITS. I set myself some rather lofty limits based on what my own assessment (with external input) of who and what I could or couldn't be.<br />
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But the real fact is: I NEVER tried out to be an astronaut. NEVER.<br />
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So how would I know for sure?<br />
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I don't.<br />
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I almost quit being a writer after I'd received more than 60 rejections.<br />
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Funny thing is we really don't know what our limits are until we really push ourselves, and most of us don't push ourselves. Sometimes not at all.<br />
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The truth is, even those limits can be pushed further away with practice and perseverance. I just did a 7-mile hike and I felt great afterwards - AT MY AGE. I didn't puke. I've sailed enough that I hardly have seasickness anymore. I used to puke after bench-pressing 100 lbs of weight. Now I can easily do 200. I felt embarrassed with my command of English and accent when I first came to the US. And now I write English-language novels and do public speaking. I have been published, and am now writing my third book. I feel so great with my body and mind that , in fact, I am starting to think: I CAN be an astronaut if I want to. Why not?<br />
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It's amazing how our mind can hinder us, stop us, butcher us if we allow it. It's even more amazing how our mind can push us through these limitations and achieve great things -- all we need is a bit more time, effort, and perseverance. But most important, STOP listening to your inner critic who, like a nasty gremlin, keeps saying, "no you can't. no you can never. no. no. no."<br />
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To it I now say, "Fuck you."<br />
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<br />Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-63467297065807281372014-02-24T10:18:00.000-08:002014-02-24T10:19:31.289-08:00The Lego Movie<div dir="ltr">I finally went to see <i>The Lego Movie</i> this weekend after hearing many good things about it from friends and critics alike. I was hoping to be entertained, and by and large I was. However, I wasn't prepared for what happened near the end.<div> <br></div><div>Like many children, I grew up playing with Legos as a boy. I enjoyed it, even though I wasn't a "master builder." I followed instructions very well, though, even as a young boy, and was able to build my castles and hospital buildings and airports (you got the themes.... they are all BUILDINGS and STRUCTURES -- real life stuff!) But anyway, I expected much imagination in the movie and I wasn't disappointed. At times, though, I was somewhat bothered by the blatant Hollywoodism -- the frantic action sequences, the musical numbers, the potty jokes, and the Darth Vader-sh villain and "end of the world" premise. Much of it was so cliched that it was actually comforting, if not a bit overdone. It wasn't until the third act that I realized what was happening, and suddenly I understood -- the whole conceit of the story, the characters, and the tiresome GOOD vs. EVIL plot was nothing short of genius, in the context of the real story. Suddenly the meaning of the entire story shifted, and it became extraordinarily profound for me.</div> <div><br></div><div>What I didn't expect was how, in the third act, it punched me in the guts, and in a good way. The last act and how the story shifted spoke to me in a profound and deep way that was beyond what I expected from an animation -- an animation about Legos, no less! Yes, silliness and frantic action sequence aside, it was the last reel between a father and son that touched me to no end, and suddenly Emmit's identity and journey and awakening became something rather personal to me, as I also went on a similar journey (okay, not really that "save the world" journey). There was something even more profound and deeply personal that I won't divulge here. All I can say is that I felt like I was hit by a ton of Legos bricks on a Legos train. I am still recovering from that experience.</div> <div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-38109653107120769682013-08-07T18:17:00.000-07:002013-08-07T18:18:01.569-07:00Remix ReMIX rEmIx ReMiX REmix<div dir="ltr">This software is insanely addictive. OMG! I'm having so much fun matching songs, mashing them, remixing them, and making something just utterly blows my mind. I don't remember having had so much fun for so long. This is crazy!<div> <br></div><div>More remixes to come!!!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-54528974024806555732013-08-06T14:59:00.000-07:002013-08-06T15:00:06.254-07:00DJ RAWO's Podcast<div dir="ltr">DJ RAWO has officially launched his podcasts (except it's not available on iTunes yet -- soon!)<div><br></div><div>Here's the link. Please give it a listen and follow. Thanks! XO</div><div><br></div> <div><a href="http://rawo.podomatic.com">http://rawo.podomatic.com</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Currently available tracks include:</div><div><br></div><div>1. Skyfall (remix)</div><div>2. Dark Side vs. Without You (mashup)</div> <div>3. I Grieve for Spring - Ezel (remix)\</div><div>4. Spectrum (remix)</div><div>5. Spectrum (extended remix) </div><div>6. Return to Mykonos - Liberta (remix)</div><div>7. C-USA (DJ RAWO original)</div><div>8. Try (cover, original by Pink)</div> <div><br></div><div><br></div><div>More to come.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-48184022050439662722013-07-31T17:43:00.001-07:002013-07-31T17:43:46.580-07:00DJ RAWO was born<div dir="ltr">Thanks to my friend DJ Kaze, DJ RAWO was born two weeks ago. He will soon be posting his remixes on his podomatic site. Stay tuned.<div><br></div><div>Currently in the line-up:</div><div><br></div><div>1. <b>Dark Side Without You</b> (DJ RAWO Remix)</div> <div>2. <b>Skyfall </b>(DJ RAWO Remix)</div><div>3. <b>Losing Myself</b> (DJ RAWO Remix)</div><div>4.<b> Return to Mykonos Liberta</b> (DJ RAWO remix)</div><div>5. <b>Beneath Your Beautiful</b> (DJ RAWO remix)</div><div> <br> </div><div><br></div><div>More to come... </div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-49807621080326663232013-07-25T11:11:00.001-07:002013-07-25T11:11:57.329-07:00Excerpt<div dir="ltr">This has gotta be my new favorite paragraph from my upcoming novel, <i>Beyond the Banyan Tree</i> (represented by Sandy Lu at L. Perkins Agency):<div><br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left-width:1px;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex"> Another half hour or so, and the car slowed and went over a bump. They made a left onto a narrow two-lane road, which gradually wound down a grade. He looked back and watched the buff serpent being swallowed by the clouds of dust. Like a flickering 8mm film, images of the motorcycle rides, how the hot sun had beaten down on his youthful skin, and how life, blooming with questions and answers and choices but no consequences, flashed through his mind. The road now slithered into silent oblivion as the driver narrated its demise. Or so it seemed. The irony rattled its scaly tail: he had left as a young man and returned a gnarled stranger. The vehicle made another left. Suddenly the jungle came into view.</blockquote> </div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-50324664117863308362013-07-25T11:02:00.000-07:002013-07-25T11:03:12.284-07:00I, The Hulk<div dir="ltr">I've gained about 15 pounds in the past 3 months, but I haven't really bought any new clothes (especially work clothes, which are expensive, so I am holding off getting new ones). Now I feel like I'm the Hulk ready to burst out of my shirts and pants (which I guarantee you won't be a pretty sight).<div> <br></div><div>Granted, at 180 pounds I am not big at all. Not even close to being big, but still, when you consider I was a 130-lb weakling throughout my 20s and had held steady at between 160-165 in the past decade, this is quite an adjustment for me. I am now 50 lbs (or 38%) heavier than I was in college. Friends who haven't seen me since highschool or college are going to be shocked. The other day my mom was commenting on how my arms are now bigger than her thighs. That's just hilarious (hi Mom!)</div> <div><br></div><div>My goal is to hit maybe 190# by next Spring. The last 10 pounds is going to be a bitch.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-46098136511794210112013-07-25T10:06:00.001-07:002013-07-25T10:06:56.491-07:00What is old is new again<div dir="ltr">Blogging is like the new tweeting, except I can write more than 140 characters. To me, Twitter has always been a bit too ADD for me, both for the tweeters and the readers. It's really good for quick quips or fast news, or links to the actual article or news items such as a blog post. I see Twitter as one-liners and a quick launchpad for the whole show, which is more like blogs.<div> <br></div><div>So, I've started blogging again, as you can see. It's been kind of cool. I've always felt uncomfortable with blogging as if I was writing novels. It's felt so permanent so I felt like I needed to project some kind of image -- a respectable author, perhaps. Now I realize, this is no different than Twitter, except I can write more than 140 characters. It's basically a place for me to brain-dump my thoughts. Every blog post is a snapshot of my thoughts and feelings of the moment. They are not meant to be "permanent," no more permanent than a tweet. What's interesting, however, is that there's an archive of all these thoughts and feelings at the moment, and to me, it's a great thing. You can't really search through your own tweets and see what stupid things you said two years ago, but you can with blogs. And it's fascinating sometimes, to see the mind/heart journey I've gone through over the years. It's fair to say that I am not quite the same person I was two years ago, or five, or ten. So to me, Blogger has become rather like a time capsule of my psyche, and it's been rather fascinating to go back in time and read what I had to say, who I was as a person.</div> <div><br></div><div>So blog on, my friend. Blog on. </div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-67460268251044009372013-07-23T15:50:00.001-07:002013-07-23T15:50:43.138-07:00My new calling?<div dir="ltr">I have a new calling... or is it just a new obsession/hobby? We'll see.<div><br></div><div>A friend of mine, DJ Kaze has introduced me to the fun of DJ'ing and music mashups. I'm not a particularly well trained musician but I've been dabbling in writing music for ever. But I found myself having more fun doing music with other people's stuff (pre-recorded material, remix kit, ready-to-use loops, etc.) I've "written" a few really cool pieces of music using ready-made loops and I got a lot of enjoyment doing that. In a way, it's kind of cooking with pre-made ingredients instead of doing everything from scratch... so I can't call myself a master chef (or master songwriter), but music making is music making....</div> <div><br></div><div>Anyway, I was just introduced to the world of harmonic mixing and mashup and I've been experimenting with software and the concept, and I have had so much fun over the weekend. My first few pieces were really crappy because I had no idea what I was doing. I was picking songs that didn't match, or they had no relevance to each other. Or I was mixing tracks that overpowered each other, or just overdubbed. But after a day of mucking with the tool and the songs in my library, I started to get a hang of it. My first mashup was a mix of Kelly Clarkson's Dark Side and David Gruetta's Without You (with Usher), and I was SURPRISED how well the two vocals and backing tracks mashed together, as if they were meant to be together. Clarkson's voice and Usher's also mashed well together and the songs' lyrics were perfectly matched too. I was like, wow, it's perfect! Can I be so lucky?</div> <div><br></div><div>My second project was mashing up too chill/techno pieces and wow, I was blown away. The result was amazing.</div><div><br></div><div>I am certainly hooked.</div><div><br></div><div>(I will post some of the remixes soon on my Podcast site -- stay tune, and give feedback, please)</div> <div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-63112146710718020352013-07-19T12:14:00.000-07:002013-07-19T12:15:33.485-07:00Racism exists, sir!<div dir="ltr">I can't understand why people say racism doesn't exist, or that it's just a minor problem among a small group of "radical" people.<div><br></div><div>No it's not.</div><div><br></div> <div>The problem is today, especially in a "civilized" country like the US, racism is hidden and not talked about or expressed freely and openly, because it's deemed "inappropriate." The whole hoopla about Paula Dean is a great example. The reason why she was canned and ostracized so publicly was that it was the politically correct thing to do, to make her an example, to prove that, "see, we're not racists!" The sad truth is that many people still secretly agree with Paula Dean but they just don't want to blatantly admit to their narrow views on race. Just because it's not expressed openly doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The tree that fell still made a sound even if we couldn't hear it.</div> <div><br></div><div>There are of course the "radicals" who we are so pleased to point out, so that we can justify and say, "see, only a few of these and they're crazy." Like the old white guy who shot a 13-year-old black kid to death for no reasons. Like George Zimmerman who we BELIEVED is a racist who killed Trayvon because he was black. Like the man who showed up at a rally with a black T-shirt with the words "NIGGER" on it. We pointed them out so that we could collectively say, "see, these are just exceptions. We are not like them."</div> <div><br></div><div>But the fact is, many of us still holds on to certain perception or biases because of race. Maybe not exactly hate or phobia, but biases nonetheless solely based on race. Ask yourself when you're in a bad neighborhood and you see a black man walking toward you, how would you react? Now ask yourself if a white guy or Asian guy walk toward you, how differently would you react?</div> <div><br></div><div>Biases are human nature. We can't help it; that's how many of us were brought up. But it doesn't mean that it's right, or that we should continue to subscribe to that kind of biases.</div> <div><br></div><div>I still remember when I first dated an African-American. Trust me, my innate or learned biases were in full force, but I was attracted despite myself, and I decided to fight these biases and focus on the PERSON and not the skin color. It helps that I am a racial minority myself; and I asked myself, "How would I feel if someone rejects me simply because of my skin color or the shape of my eyes or any preconceived notion of what Asians are about?" The answer was simple.</div> <div><br></div><div>I still remember in college, my girlfriend and I were double-dating with this other couple who seemed very down to earth and all-American. We were having a good time when a couple of friends -- African-American -- said hello to us before they left the bar. Teresa turned to us and said, "Why are you associated with them?" I asked, "Why not? What's the matter?" Teresa continued to say, "They're black!!!" I said, "I am Asian." She said, "Yeah, I know, but you Asians are okay because you're smart and hardworking."</div> <div><br></div><div>Needless to say, I never spoke with Teresa and her boyfriend anymore after that.</div><div><br></div><div>For me, I fully understand how someone can feel that way, but I can't understand why someone should continue to feel that way. We're all products of our culture, backgrounds and upbringing, but we're not prisoners of our past. Racism is not right, and is NEVER right -- it doesn't matter if you were brought up to think it was right. Think for yourself. Educate yourself. Better yet, go out and meet people and make friends with people of all races and nationalities and see for yourself there is absolutely nothing to fear or hate or dislike about someone simply based on race alone.</div> <div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-31086822651764991142013-07-18T10:15:00.000-07:002013-07-18T10:16:37.135-07:00NPR - Talk of the Nation<div dir="ltr">I did an interview with NPR's Talk of the Nation back in May. Here's the audio, transcript, and also link to my original article. Enjoy!<div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2013/05/01/180083329/To-Avoid-Or-To-Embrace-How-Actors-Navigate-Stereotypes">http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2013/05/01/180083329/To-Avoid-Or-To-Embrace-How-Actors-Navigate-Stereotypes</a><br> </div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-20578556120188308072013-07-16T17:57:00.000-07:002013-07-16T17:58:09.417-07:00Writing prompt<div dir="ltr">Amusing Park terror from Hell on July 4<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Happy writing.</div><div><br></div><div>(post your link here if you use the prompt for a story)</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-26125690417936609062013-07-16T13:56:00.000-07:002013-07-16T13:57:01.992-07:00Road Rage<div dir="ltr">Oh no. After living and working in LA for over 18 months, I think I have turned into one of those road-rage maniacs.<div><br></div><div>Little things annoy me now, like people cutting me off, slow drivers (seriously, the speed limit is 55mph why are you going 40?), morons (which lane do you want -- pick one!), and assholes (don't tailgate me when I'm already going 80mph). Oh, I almost hit a motorcyclist today because he was zipping past cars after cars and I couldn't see him right behind me trying to pass. These cyclists are disasters waiting to happen.</div> <div><br></div><div>And just because you are riding motorcycles doesn't mean you can ignore the law. They don't stop at stop lights. They go between lanes. They go in and out of lanes. They don't turn on their turn signals. These daredevils are not just endangering themselves; they are threatening MY safety. Where are the cops?</div> <div><br></div><div>No wonder I get so angry behind the wheels these days. About a month ago I witnessed an event that was worth a scene in <i>Fast and the Furious</i>. A speeding car zipping from lane to lane tried to past a slower car in the passing lane, so it made a fateful decision to go between the car and a semi. It hit the semi, making the truck spin a little. The top of that car flew off but the car kept going. About a half mile away it finally stopped and two Latino kids scampered out of the car and dashed off. Gangs? Drugs? Illegal immigrants? Who knows? But that was a close call for me as I was right behind the semi.</div> <div><br></div><div>Like I said, no wonder I have road rage. These people endanger me!</div><div><br></div><div>And don't even mention Asian drivers. The stereotype is true, and multiply that by a few million and that's LA. I'm ashamed to be an Asian driver myself, not because I am bad, but because will assume that I am bad and I can't blame them. Some of these Asian drivers are so bad that I wonder if they ever passed driving tests. Who put them on the road?</div> <div><br></div><div>Road rage.</div><div><br></div><div>Yesterday I flipped off another driver. He honked at me, and I flipped him off again. I didn't care if he might have a gun. I just didn't. Then I sped up and passed the motherfucker at about 90mph. See you later! </div> <div><br></div><div>What is happening to me? I've become this angry driver on the road. Slow drivers are particularly annoying, because they're neither dangerous (so I can't blame them) or careless. They're just in my way to get to where I need to go. Please, please, please observe the speed limit. Please. Just because you don't want to speed doesn't mean you have to go 20 mph under limit. That's super annoying.</div> <div><br></div><div>Where are my chill pills?</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-6207414823260407902013-07-15T13:40:00.000-07:002013-07-15T13:41:17.455-07:00Daily Writing Prompt<div dir="ltr">A US family live comfortably on $34K a year (genre: fantasy) #DailyPrompt<div><br></div><div>Source of inspiration: <a href="http://money.msn.com/now/post--charles-koch-dollar34000-puts-you-in-the-top-1percent">http://money.msn.com/now/post--charles-koch-dollar34000-puts-you-in-the-top-1percent</a></div> </div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-37907697234796302402013-07-15T12:29:00.000-07:002013-07-15T12:30:18.698-07:00It's about Race<div dir="ltr">Racial issues continue to pop up, reminding us that we're far from being done with racism and racial conflicts in this country or the world. From Zimmerman/Trayvon to the KTVU's fake Asian names, we're constantly reminded that racism does exist in one form or another, often disguised as something else or a benign "joke." And sadly for many people, racism doesn't really matter or they don't really care because it doesn't touch them, or affect them. I understand human nature -- we only care about things that directly or indirect affect us. Many people in the US are not affected by racism, so why should they care? As an Asian-American, my point of view is obviously different.<div> <br></div><div>But as some wise man once said, "if we keep silent, we're then just as guilty, as if we're now siding with the wrong." Do you believe racism is wrong? Then speak up, even if racism doesn't affect you personally. In fact, your voice would carry even more weight, as you're demonstrating the truth, whether it affects you or not. I often find men who help trumpeting women's issues, or straights who support gay causes, or white folks who champion civil rights help empower the causes, demonstrating these are universal issues, and that we're all one voice regardless of our backgrounds.</div> <div><br></div><div>It's okay if you really are ambivalent because it doesn't affect you. I understand. But when you start to apologize for it or find a way to say "oh, it's not racism. It's just a joke" then you're getting really close to agreeing with racism or any of the society issues we're facing. And I will make sure that I'll let you know you're wrong.</div> <div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-37354390523666286242013-07-12T15:21:00.000-07:002013-07-12T15:22:23.114-07:00Abundance Mentality<div dir="ltr">Of all the things I've learned in the last few years while facking challenges in my life, the "abundance mentality" is possibly one of the most inspiring and affirmative things. If you don't know what it is, Google it.<div> <br></div><div>For the longest time, I've been living in a world, a culture that are deeply ingrained in the scarcity mentality. Resources are limited; jobs are scarce; there are only so many eligible singles out there! Don't miss your chance! How could I/we not buy into that and believe in that when we're constantly being rejected, when it seems so impossible to get and have what we want?</div> <div><br></div><div>But you see, this mentality is like poison, and if you believe in the law of attraction, this deeply ingrained mindset of "scarcity" affects everything we do, even subconsciously. We start to live small and in fear. We doubt ourselves when we want to dream big. We believe that even if we try hard, we won't get what we want. We believe that there is only ONE perfect match for us, so we dread that we may now end up growing old alone because "the one has gotten away."</div> <div><br></div><div>Oh the turmoil. The trauma. The limitation.</div><div><br></div><div>Instead, what I have learned is that I have to completely recondition myself and retrain myself (trust me, it's not easy to do -- it will probably take me a much longer time to fully internalize this) to think that there is an abundance of everything. Well, may be no unlimited, but certainly more than enough to go around. Even if I still have to struggle to find a job, something to eat, a publisher who will buy my book, etc. by knowing that there is no shortage out there, and that it's just a matter of time, I get to live a much more relaxed, happy life by focusing on what I can control and do, and not worry about "there's nothing out there for me."</div> <div><br></div><div>The "abundance mindset" is life-changing in many ways.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-89633130666889440802012-12-01T15:54:00.001-08:002012-12-01T15:55:56.182-08:00Movies I really wanted to see.... And my quick reviews<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">1. ARGO - I really liked it. I think it's really well done and the standouts are John Goodman and Alan Arkin. I think Ben Affleck as the director did a great job with the authenticity of the look and feel and also the suspense and tension. Certain parts did feel kind of forced and manipulative, but it's a really good movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">2. SKYFALL - I think it's one of the best Bond films I've seen, and this one I can actually understand the plot and remember it! Javier Bardem is a great villain and Daniel Craig has never been better. The plot does get a bit too sentimental at the end and I kind of find it implausible (a bit of Home Alone there) but over all, an awesome Bond film. Oh, the Bond girls are hot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">3. LES MIS - more on it tomorrow after the screening!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">4. CLOUD ATLAS - I was intrigued by the trailers and the premise. I think it was a very ambitious undertaking and to some extent they succeeded. But by using the same famous actors to play different roles using make up, they end up distracting more than engaging... it becomes a "look, look, who is play what?" Parts of the story are flat or uninteresting. I don't find it confusing, but I can how it can be. Very uneven.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">5. SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - Feel good movie of the year. Everything is in place. Cooper, Lawrence, De Niro and Weaver are all excellent. Chris Tucker, however, seems misplaced -- his role can be cut out with no loss to the story. I also find the ballroom dancing and thus the ending somewhat contrived. I really, really like the movie, just not as much as just about everyone else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">6. THE SESSIONS - What I thought was as funny, adult comedy about a man with polio who hires a sex surrogate... turns out to be a heart-warming drama. John Hawkes and Helen Hunt are both amazing. Love it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">7. THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER -- the nostalgia factor makes it a must-see for me. Like Adventureland a few years ago, this one reminds me of my time in Pittsburgh in the late 80s. The story and the acting are superb. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">8. ANNA KARENINA - ever since Pride & Prejudice, I have been a Joe Wright fan, and ever since the Pirate of the Caribbean films, I really enjoyed Keira Knightely. So I was expecting a lot from Anna Karenina, and was ultimately disappointed. The movie is gorgeous, and the production is great... I just think Joe Wright took a big risk by setting the film on the stage, and it didn't pay off. It felt distant -- I couldn't connect with it emotionally. Anna isn't really very likable either, so it makes it harder for me to like the film. I think Joe Wright should stick with period drama in naturalistic settings -- he did it so well with P&P and Atonement.</span><br />
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Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-37559956459140031202012-08-31T17:08:00.000-07:002012-12-01T15:55:36.627-08:00Two posts in a Year?<div>
I just realized I've posted exactly five times since this time last year. What gives? I suppose the past year has been more troublesome to me than I truly realized. I got distracted. It's not like I had nothing to say; in fact I had plenty to say, but blogging was the last thing on my mind.</div>
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I hope to get better at this blogging thing this coming year as I once again focus more on my career and less on my personal life. The sad fact is, people come and go in our lives, and there's nothing we can do about it. The only thing we can control is -- well, the things we can control, such as our work, our efforts, our hopes and dreams. It's time to embrace a new phase of my life.</div>
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Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-9023902940244452892012-06-30T08:25:00.003-07:002012-06-30T08:26:19.282-07:00I'm still AliveA lot has changed in the past few months, pretty much since I last wrote in... what, November?<br />
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Anyway, I am not ready to divulge yet, but I have lots of news, lots of changes to report and I am still in the process of processing them. The biggest change is what is going on inside my head and heart... I guess you can say I was going through some significant growing pain. But the good thing is, I am growing (as a person, not literally growing -- I was done with that at puberty!)<br />
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To save time, I'll repost something I wrote to a friend of mine. We are both going through some tough times in our respective lives. Through our correspondences and encouragement to each other, I seem to find a voice that is more neutral and objective:<br />
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Life has its ebb and flow -- sometimes we're in a rut and it's just up to us to get out of it... eventually, but at the same time, there's no need to rush. Sometimes we do need that down time to evaluate things, to think, to catch up with our thoughts and feelings. As you know I've been going through a lot of internal changes and introspection lately. I've shut down FB again, this time maybe for good. We'll see. I figure I am leaving doors open (text msg, email, etc.) for those who truly care and want to keep in touch. All the others, they can just go and do whatever they please.</div>
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Life's too short to hold on to those who don't want to engage or don't care.</div>
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The thing is, everyone is self-centered. We have our own shit to deal with. We are just a blip on someone else's radar. I'm fine with that.</div>
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Friendship comes and goes... that's just life. I have a close friend in high school.... we kept in touch for almost 30 years even though we live in two different continents now, but even that friendship has waned... we barely speak or write each other, maybe only on our respective birthdays and usually it's just "how are you?" that's all. It's kind of sad but as our lives diverge that's just how things are. I am okay with that.</div>
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I'm sorry I'm kind of out of touch too. Not that I don't care or don't think of you. Just that like I said, everyone has their own shit to deal with, and I've been dealing with mine and am in a very isolated mood and withdrawal... Don't want to divulge but that's just something I need to go through. Hopefully I will be getting out of that soon.</div>
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Funny thing is just when I didn't think anyone cared, this week's been weird... a bunch of people I haven't heard from for months just started to text or email or call me. Out of the blue. It's as if there's a cosmic power to tell them all: "hey, it's time to touch base with Ray." It's weird.</div>
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I'm really sorry that you guys drifted apart. Like you said, sometimes people change, things change, friendship change... just keep in touch. They and I actually drifted apart for a while, too, but then we got in touch again. It's all about emotional honesty and being there, and being true... eventually, if the friendship is built on rock and not sand, it will come back. In the mean time, keep yourself busy, and keep meeting new people, etc.</div>
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I think that's it... we just need time and space. I know it sounds boring, that you're in a rut. But sometimes we need to be in a rut so we can figure out how to dig out of it, and what needs to change within ourselves. It's part of the pain of growing. I've grown so much in the past 6 months it's unbelievable.</div>
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Take care buddy and chin up. Things will get better. Just be patient.</div>Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-65568466582473734362011-11-25T13:15:00.000-08:002011-11-25T13:28:00.681-08:00Random Musing... About Life and SuchI'm trying to avoid everything Christmas... LOL I'm such a Grinch. But while chatting with my best friend about the holidays, I stumbled upon an interesting topic...<br />
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It's funny that my best friend should mention time and friendship/relationships. While it's true that some friends just fell by the wayside (and possibly they weren't really good friends to begin with -- or they have their own things going on...), it's also true that some friends remain the same after years and years. I mean, sometimes you haven't seen someone for 20 years and you see them again, and it's as if no time had passed. Like my best friend and me... sometimes we have a hard time remembering when we saw/talked to each other last! Was it a year ago? Two years ago? I mean, we've known each other for almost 25 years and it doesn't seem like that long.<br />
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Maybe time really isn't a factor when you really connect with someone. Otherwise, it's not meant to be and is superficial anyway.<br />
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I think we're always just wrapped up with the "now," or that we feel if we don't hold on to something or someone, they will be gone forever. It's human nature. It's hard to let go of attachments. It's all about fear -- the fear of rejection; the fear of loss; the fear of not measuring up; the fear of being exposed or the pain of separation or not having something (now). Fear of losing control, or a future beyond our control. The more we're attached to something, the more we want to hold on to it, not understanding that if something is meant to be, time doesn't matter. We're a culture of "now" -- instant gratification. When we say "we want to take things slow, get to know each other better" what we mean is "let's get married in 3 months." Either we're lovers now or never! The same goes with other endeavors such as a writing career, money, fame, etc.<br />
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But remember, legacies are not built overnight. In fact, most "legacies" are built over a lifetime.<br />
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And then you hear stories about people in love with each other for decades before they had a chance to get together... you wonder, wow! How does that work? (Have you read the book or seen the movie <i>One Day</i>? It made me sob like a little girl) In a way, that's what my current novel is about: the undying love that lasts a lifetime even after a decades-long separation....<br />
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Interesting how life imitates fiction sometimes.Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-56172205574622210342011-09-10T20:14:00.000-07:002011-09-10T20:14:24.398-07:00Book Number ThreeBook #3 has finally started -- I think... I hope.<br />
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Actually, I did start another book #3 last November when I was *trying* to do NaNoWriMo but I quit after the first 8000+ words because it turned out not to be the book I wanted to write. And since then, I've been working on editing on Book #2 and figuring out what to do with Book #3. I narrowed it down to between two ideas.<br />
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Eventually, I decided that I wanted to write something lighter, with lots of humor and fun observation. It's not necessarily a comedy, but definitely nothing as thick and heavy as Book #2 and the other idea for Book #3.<br />
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Also, once I switched to first person, the words just flowed. I absolutely love writing in first person, and I feel that after all these months of pondering, I got to know the characters pretty well and I was able to tell the story with their voices. Let's see how that goes. One of the main character is going to be so much fun to write!<br />
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Also, since I've now started on it, I want to resume my 500-word-a-day challenge. Hopefully I'd be able to get the first draft done by next Spring. Let's see how that goes.<br />
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So excited!Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-53559987820543886982011-08-31T15:51:00.000-07:002011-08-31T15:51:35.806-07:00SurgeryBook editing is like surgery sometimes, and your beta readers are your best doctors and nurses, and yet the final surgery depends on you!<br />
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Just when you think the last bug has gone extinct, you find something else. Or you know something is wrong, or your doctors tell you something is wrong, but you're in denial (doctors are the worst patients - writers are the worst crittees), until the symptoms keep showing up, and you know something must be done. Or else the warts or bugs or tumors will always be there eating away everything.<br />
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But let's face it, surgeries are painful. It takes time to heal, and often there are complications or new problems, and more fixes need to be applied. And you wonder if you'd come out alive or whole again. Would you be a better person? Or would you be a patchwork like Frankenstein's monster?<br />
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Fortunately, the best surgeons usually do the job well. That's when we, as writers, must sharpen our skills and improve our craft. The point isn't to write something perfect from the get go. the point is that when problem arises, we'd know and understand the need to do necessary surgeries, to fix any warts and bugs and tumors and ailments. Like everything else, the first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem - an illness, a cancerous growth... I think for us, that's the hardest thing, to listen to your doctor and realize: OMG, I have cancer, and I need to have X and Y cut out... But once you take the first step to acknowledge that, the rest would come naturally: you know what you must do if you want to live.<br />
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Writing is kind of like that, too. And right now, I'm doing surgeries, some minor, and some not so. They can be painful. But they are all necessary, and I'm glad I have the opportunity before the book goes to die.<br />
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<br />Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-57056675415355625172011-08-31T01:45:00.000-07:002011-08-31T01:45:20.236-07:00ProjectionA friend of mine recently sent me something that gave me a pause:<br />
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<blockquote>Projection is the biggest danger.. seeing what you want instead of what is actually there is what causes us to invest when we shouldn't. Better to take it slowly. I think a lot of these problems occur because we don't value ourselves enough to make the other person take equal risk, then we beat ourselves up for trying.</blockquote>He was, of course, talking about love and relationship, but I think the general idea also applies to everything else: career, friendship, goal, life, etc.<br />
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As an idealist, I'm guilty of projecting - a lot. Instead of focusing on the moment and taking in what life has to offer, right now, I project. I immediately launch myself far in the future and interpret things according to what I want to see, instead of what is actually there. Facts become signs and signs becomes destiny and destiny becomes action items. And the results are not always good, because when we project, the vision is blurred and skewed, thus the signs are often wrong, and the outcome thusly turns out not as we expect.<br />
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There's another thing: expectation, which goes hand in hand with projection. When we see something that may or may not be there because of our projection, we begin to expect something in return, something to happen. A + B must = C.... The problem is, even if A and B are correct, C may never happen. Worse, A and B might be wrong in the first place because of our projections. The result is a whole bag of disappointment and frustration.<br />
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Now, does that mean we should never invest? Of course not. There are things that is worthwhile to pursue. And we know in our heart what is real and important. When we make a connection with someone, we can most likely instinctively tell if it's real or not, instead of just empty infatuation or "daydreaming." Same with our career goals: it's good to fantasize, but deep down we know what is an attainable dream and what is just empty fantasies. The trick is to figure out which is which, and to know the facts and understands what is real and what is not, and then invest thusly.<br />
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Invest in what is important.<br />
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But take it slow.<br />
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Part of my own problem is also that I am impatient. While some people may spend their entire lifetime finding "the right one" or excelling in a profession, I tend to want it to happen quickly. 20 years to write a great novel or build a career? That's taking too long. And I'm not alone. Many people "settle" for the first person they "fall in love" with even if their instinct tells them something isn't quite right. Many people don't want to invest their time and energy in a long-term goal. In this fast-food nation, everything has to be instant and gratifying or else ... oh shiny....<br />
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But there's a saying: "Good things come to those who wait." When we heard of overnight successes, chances are there's nothing "overnight" about them. When we heard about a match made in heaven, chances are it wasn't borne of "love at first sight" (we're all so spoiled and screwed by fairytales). For example, most successful couples I know started off as friends, and their love grew from that simple friendship. Many people I know who "fell in love at first sight" ended up in divorce court. I know some writers who got their "big break" quickly after they've spend years perfecting their craft (with 10 trunk novels to proof it). So I think there's merit in "good things come to those who wait."<br />
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Alas! Given that I'm an idealist, a perfectionist, and an impatient man, I'm doomed.<br />
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Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256094.post-73604901774543346942011-07-27T10:26:00.000-07:002011-07-27T10:26:27.239-07:00The Wizard of Pacific BetweenA few years ago, after reading <i>The Pacific Between</i>, a reader told me that it was like reading a modern retelling of <i>The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.</i><br />
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I said, "What?" I never thought of it that way. I didn't set out to retell that story.<br />
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But in many ways, it is true. There are many parallels. Most basically, both are the Hero's Journey, so some resemblance is inevitable.<br />
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However, upon further analysis, I can see more similarities:<br />
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Greg Lockland is Dorothy (sorry, there's no Toto, unless you count his nice clothes).<br />
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Lian is the wizard that he seeks (who turns out to be not so magical after all).<br />
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Greg is unhappy and dreams of a better life.<br />
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Greg travels to a strange place called Oz (Asia) to find the wizard.<br />
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Along the way, Greg finds lifelong friendships with the likes of Scarecrow (Old Chow -- he has a brain!), Tin Man (Agnes -- she has a heart!), and Cowardly Lion (David -- he has courage!). And a whole cast of characters who help him along.<br />
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He also has a nemesis, who turns out to be less threatening and crucial to his mission than he thought. His greatest challenge is himself.<br />
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Eventually, he realizes as great as Oz is, there's no place like home. He also didn't realize the power to go home has always been with him.<br />
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Greg comes home a different person than he was. He finds happiness.Ray Wonghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13998594108956468112noreply@blogger.com2