Writing = SEX

Writing is like sex. We have to know what we want and what we need (as a writer), but we also need to take care of our partner's (readers) need. We have to think: What does she want and like? What can I do to her to make her happy, while not losing myself in the whole thing? I have to be happy and satisfied, too. But there's also happiness in giving (and not just receiving). We're still in control -- even in a give and take partnership.

Or let me put it this way. A writer is like an experienced, attentive lover and the readers less so (but the readers know, intrincitly, what they want in the "partnership"). So what can the experienced lover (writer) do to make it a mutually exciting and satisfying experience?

Some lovers are more experienced than others. Some like certain things and some others. Some might even be more experienced than the writer/lover.

But you can bet the best lovers in the world are those who know what their partners want, and who know how to give. Their partners would keep coming back, asking for more.

Be that lover in your art of writing.

The difficulty is, unlike with sex, we don't have immediate feedback of what our partners (readers) want. So it's easy for us to become selfish lovers, so to speak.


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