My Wynona Rider moment

Several years ago, my then-girlfriend Deanna and I went shopping at a department store at a local mall. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead shopping at a department store (I do all my shopping online -- I am quite the recluse), but she needed some clothes and jewelry for a social function, and I tagged along because, I guess, I was bored out of my skull. I hated shopping, but thank goodness she wasn't the type that looked at everything either. Anyway, she tried out some clothes and picked out a few outfits. I tried on a pair of jeans. And before we knew it we had a bunch of stuff in our arms.

As we walked to the cashier, we started having this really intense discussion. I don't even remember what we were discussing but it was intense and deep (much like sex, I suppose). After a while, I looked up and realized we weren't in the store anymore. I looked around, and I said to her, "Where are we?" She looked around and said, "I think we're near the food court." That's when we both realized we'd just walked out of the store, about halfway down the mall, with possibly $200 worth of goods. It was hilarious. We probably could have gotten away with that, but we ended up shuffling back to the store and paying for the items.

I don't know what brought this memory back. I guess I was thinking earlier about, like, how many things I have stolen before. Why? I am not sure. How many and what? I'm not going to tell you.