Things I (don't) need to do before I die...

1. Getting published by the New Yorker or Atlantic Monthly

That's every (ok, almost every) writer's dream to be published by these giants in the literary-journal world. Being published in them may lead to bigger, better things or, if nothing else, at least validate me as a worthy writer. Does being published by TNY or AM really means I'm a great writer? Not necessarily. But many great writers have been and will be published by them, so I'll be in great company. Truth is, I am not totally impressed with everything that has ever been published there. I'm sure the editors see the pieces they publish as worthy and wonderful and even trendsetting, but it all comes down to taste. Art is about taste, and sensibility. If a writer happens to strike a chord with an editor, and as long as he or she can put grammatically-correct sentences together (and sometimes you can even skip that step because they have copy editors), it's payoff time. Some may argue that TNY or AM are elitists, and they encourage literary elitism; and judging from some of their "cutting edge" stories and poetry, it may not be too far from the truth. Then again, it may just be sour grapes. I'll probably think differently once I get published -- if I ever get published -- by them. In the meantime, I am not holding my breath. I'll buy the champagne if I need to.

2. Traveling around the world on a private yacht

It's a nice idea, especially when I'm independently wealthy. But then there's sea-sickness. Watching me puke my face out would not be a pleasant experience, and I WILL make you watch. Just take me on a huge ocean-liner -- the bigger the better.

3. Hang-gliding across the Grand Canyon

I'm perpetually afraid of height. I'll try anything at least once, though, and I've flew (flown -- these pesky past participles) in airplanes many, many times. You can take me up in the air with an aluminum triangle with a canvas smaller than a personal camping tent, and I won't scream bloody murder. I'm adventurous. Just make sure I can cross the entire Grand Canyon in less than five minutes, okay?

4. Dating a supermodel

It's 4:44 A.M. on Sunday and I'm not fully awake yet. Cool?

5. Join the Polar Bear Club

You know, those crazy guys who do winter bathing, sometimes naked, and sometimes actually in the North or South Pole. Sounds really cool... I mean cold. BRRRRRR. Maybe I'll do it when I'm 85 so if I died from pneumonia, at least I'd be old.

More to come...


Diana said…
Ah.... I know some members of the Polar Bear Club. I'm currently in Siberia and people do this in -35F, right after a hot sauna! They insist is good for your health. I think I'd rather keep taking my vitamins...


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