To pay it forward, I'd like to show you how a query is done, and what a great query looks now. Eat your heart out, and thank me later.
My new query:
Hey Agent Dude,
I've got a kick-ass manuscript here that will make me the next Grisham-Rowling-Meyer-King thingummy and make you very rich. What is it about? Your just have to find out. Prepare to get your socks knocked off. Yo, call me.
Rock on, baby,
RaWo aka Ray Wong