a) I've gotten hate mail before and it's always along the line of "you're untalented." Don't they know another insult?
b) it's usually written poorly. It's like a drunk accusing of others for being smashed
This really cracks me up.
Here is the e-mail in its entirety, unedited:
From: Scott XXXX (seriously, at least show me your real name)
Subject: Your status as author
I saw your comments to my friend and will tell you this- you are not talented in writing.
My friend kicks your ass in that department. It does not matter how many books your friends and family have bought to boost your self esteem. You are not the great writer you pretend to be so here is advice: don't piss off strangers.
Be brave ,face to face and if not, then do not act holier than thou.
Just friendly advice which I hope I never have to repeat.
I'm sorry, Scott. If you thought your e-mail would sour my mood, you were completely wrong. In fact, it brightened my day. It made me laugh. And I have to thank you for lifting my mood today and making me want to write even better.
I like my friend's response the best:
Thank you for your interest in me and my literature. It means a lot to know you people in your corner and it is people like you that make writing what I love. Keep reading, keep living, keep loving.