Day 26

It's the weekend again. My nemesis. And a long weekend at that. Evil.

I did manage to get quite a lot done today, including meeting my quota. I'm kind of proud of that. Of course, to those colleagues who can turn out 2000 or 4000 words a day, my tiny 500 words are pitiful. For me, though, they're quite a triumph. Also, I'm enjoying the part of the story, whether it's because I'm writing regularly, so it's easier to get in the zone, or that this is the part of the story that I've thinking of for the last YEAR. That's right: year. I've come to a point of the story where I feel like I can really move forward now, not that the plot wasn't moving before -- it was. But now I'm done with the war part and, like the war prisoners in my story, they get to move on with their lives. And the second part of the story is every bit, if not more, gripping, with lots of changes and growing up to do. It's really exciting for the characters and me.

I know, this sounds so vague and it's not like I don't want to share my story or plot, but like my friend Patricia said, it's probably a good idea not to share too much of our writing during the draft phase. Not that we're afraid someone would steal our ideas, but it's a way for us to keep our story "pure," in a sense, without a lot of external influences. I welcome brainstorming though, and I do sometimes share my thoughts with very close friends. Still, I think Patricia has a point.

But anyway, I'm quite fired up by this part of the story, but at the same time I'm nervous. What if I screw it up? What if what was in my mind for the last year or so (with regard to this part of the story) doesn't really work? What if this is cliched? What if? What if? I hate when I feel that way. It feels so paralyzing sometimes and I would agonize over how to write these scenes because there are a million ways to write them.

Then I have to remember why I started this challenge to begin with: to be rid of this fear and to forge on. I have to remind myself that I am allowed to write crap, and only when I have words on the page can I rewrite. I am allowed to let go and just let my mind take me wherever. I'm allowed to not judge what I write, but just write. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's easier said than done for someone like me, who is kind of a perfectionist. By far it's one of the biggest hurdles I have to overcome and I'm not quite there yet.

500 word, 11000 words total
339 days and 174500 words to go


Khanh Ha said…
Friends would ask me, "What's your new novel about?" Like Patricia or Hemingway, I could never tell anyone what I'm writing about. I treat that as something holy. Yes, HOLY. But, of course, each writer treats his writing differently. Some can and are willing to talk about it; others can't.

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