Once again, today I was stuck with "trying to be writerly." I agonized over the word choices and sentence structures, and I found myself tweaking/editing what I wrote before I was done with the paragraph. Two hours later, I was still at 230 words. What the heck? That throughput was simply pathetic and frustrating.
So I said to myself, f*** it, I'm just going to write whatever that comes out of my mind. I started to visualize the scene, and think about the smells, sounds, etc., hoping to get myself into the trance-like fictive dream.
It didn't happen. I did manage to meet the quota of 500 words, but most of them were crappy words. But you know what? I did allow myself to write crap, so that's okay.
And before I forget: damn the Internet. I really should turn the sucker off. However, I needed to be online today, and I made $600 in trading. Not too bad.
... but what about your writing!? Whoaaaa!
My muse was not very happy.
In my defense, it was a tough scene to write today. It's a sexual assault. I really don't like scenes like that; they sicken me. I find it harder to get into the minds of my characters when they're doing something so opposite my own nature. However, as the writer, I know I must observe and report, and that's what I did. Slowly. A bit painfully.
363 days, 184500 words to go...