Monday, December 19, 2005

Monday Meme - December 19

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

As always, I'd love it if you'd use the 's tag.


Last year during our retreat, Mac and I got into some trouble. Nothing really crazy or shocking. But you see, I was drunk, had a glass or three of Maker's Mark too many. So Mac took advantage of me -- no, not that way; Mac and I have a purely platonic relationship. Anyway, she took me to town and sneaked me into a Chippendale show on ladies' night. Obviously, I was astounded by the horde of horny women surrounding me. But I was drunk, remember? So I don't remember anything except that Mac kept stuffing dollar bills in my hand and I kept feeling these oily, sweaty bodies rubbing all over me. I don't remember seeing any boobs, but definitely things were flopping around. Then they announced it was 'amateur' night and Mac pushed me on stage. I was drunk, remember? And I forgot that I was a bald man with a 200lb gut and a gun (I've gained a lot of weight -- my profile picture looks nothing like me now). Anyway, I did my thang and before I knew it, women were shoving dollar bills in my underpants (or what was left of 'em). I don't know what happened next, but the following morning, I woke up with a throbbing... headache, and $83 beside my bed, next to Mac who'd totally passed out. I never told anyone until now.

6 comments:

Unique said...

I was sorry I missed that Chippendales show, but I still think I got the better end of the deal. I still have the feather boa you bought me at Victoria's Secret with the 83$ that you - ahem - woke up with. Alas, the teddy and the fishnet stockings are history...but I'm sure you remember what happened to *those*. :)

Dawno said...

lol! Good one Ray. I hope Mac drops by soon to read it.

Ray Wong said...

Apparently, Mac's still passed out.

Mac said...

Good Heavens, Ray--I would have never said anything about your behavior that night, cuz I'd promised...but you've gone and let the cat out of the bag.

*sigh*

I think the best part was when you wanted to go to Vegas and marry the transvestite bartender. It was soooooo sweet!

Did she keep the ring?

Ray Wong said...

What can I say? She was the prettiest woman I've ever met (well, I was drunk, remember?) She didn't keep the ring -- it was made of a straw, anyway. I returned home broken-hearted, vowing never to fall for a transvestite again.

Ray Wong said...

And Unique, I didn't forget about you. I still have pictures of you in the fishnet... guess where I posted them (hint: The Internet).